


The Shape of Us

by Amasan



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Minor Joffrey Baratheon/Sansa Stark, Minor Jon Snow/Ygritte, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Stark family feels, they drink too much beer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-04-07 09:59:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14078403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amasan/pseuds/Amasan
Summary: It had started with a bruise on her cheek. She had came back home from a horrible date and her half-brother was visiting.“You look troubled,” he startled her.“Jon,” she called in greeting.  Her always sullen half-brother. “I didn't notice that I'm not alone.”“Are you alright?” He asked.  She could faintly see the outline of his face. He probably had the same unreadable expression he usually wore when around her. “Did something happen?”





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's my first story in a wery long time, and it makes me really excited :D  
> There will befour or five chapters. The prologue is really short, but chapters will be longer. Have fun ^^
> 
> P.S. Help me to improve.

_***Present Time*** _

 

"I want you to find them.”

Detective Tormund took the two pictures presented to him in hand. Two young adults, male and female. The girl clearly similar to the client sitting before him.

"Daughter run away with her boyfriend?’

"Brother”, the woman clarified. "Jon is my husband’s son from his previous marriage. His mother died in labour.”

That would explain why they weren’t similar in appearance, he noted. Well, except for the shape of their eyes.

"But-”, the woman was hesitant for a second and bit her lip. "They may be more than that...”

It was the tremble in her voice that caught his attention.

"They might be lovers.”

He sought her eyes. "It’s a possibility,” he stated. "What makes you believe so?”

"A mother’s feeling I suppose.” a humorless laugh. "They were never close as children. "Jon was always cautious around her. He always treated her in a different way than the rest of my children, when I think about it now.”

"They could simply have been too different when they were younger. Maybe they grew up and found common ground?”

"I thought so too, at least at first.”

"But not now?”

"Not anymore, yes”

The case seemed strange.Usually when a mother came in search of children she believed everyone at fault but not her kin. This was...unexpected. Maybe there was bad blood between…? He dismissed the idea. She would not be searching for them if that was the case.

"Would you like some coffe?”

"Will it be trouble?”

Tormund snorted. "I need one myself.”

"White with no sugar then, please”

Msr Stark seemed like a stern woman. Serious and cold but not bitter, straight to the point. If it was another client, he would laugh at them and send them home. Something told him to believe her claims or at least try to

"So, you believe that-”

"That they ran away together, yes.”

He placed the cup in front of her.

 "What changed between them? When?” In his long years of work in the field Tormund learned never to judge other's people actions and to be discreet with the knowledge he was given. He only collected information, never judged.

"I’m not really sure how to explain it.” She took a small sip of the beverage.

"Start from the beginning?”

"Very well.”


	2. Sansa I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for all your kinds words and kudos. I was surprised after receiving such a nice response from you guys, I did not expect that! Thank you, you have made me really happy. I hope you will enjoy this chapter too.
> 
> I had to rewrite it a few times to make it work with the rest of the story that I have in mind. I had intended to post it sooner, but I got distracted. 
> 
> I will point out that I'm using the European school system, more precisly from Central Europe. So the characters are finishing HS when they are around 18 and can go to university/polytechnic institute.
> 
> EDIT: 5/8/18 Fixed a few things, hope it will be a little easier to read now.
> 
> If you noticed something off like sentence that does make sense or is worded in a strange way please let me know. I'm struggling with proper grammar and words, so any help is greatly appreciated :D I'm trying my best to improve, but it takes time...And patience....lots of it.

_***Four years before*** _

 

I

It was late at a Friday night when Sansa came back home with a bruise on her left cheek, she menaged to cover it and hoped that it won’t be discovered. She noticed her mother casting her a disapproving glance because of her makeup, she knew that Sansa did not wear it when she was heading out.

“I'm back.”

Robb and her mother were both in front of TV, a football game was on. Robb was sprawled out on the couch with beer in hand while their mother occupied the armchair, she was working on fixing a tear in Rickon’s pants. They younger brother was nowhere in sight, probably asleep by now.

“Hey, little miss-sis!” Her brother waved at her “Hot date?” He cast an approving look at her attire.

“It was alright.”

Sansa was wearing a long tulle skirt, it was of a light shade of pink and reaching behind her knees and a black simple top. She had also a small cute bag with a matching color to her skirt and dark ballet pumps.

“You look cute!” he commented with a sing-song voice.

“Thanks.”

He pointed at her with the bottle and Sansa wondered how many beers he had .“If all my dates would dress like that, I would be a happy man.”

“Are you hitting on me?” she tried to laugh.

“Just making a point” he hummed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Sansa faked a yawn. She wanted to hide in her room. “Tired. I will grab a glass of water and then I'm going sleep. Soundly,” she turned to leave when Robb called after her.

“ You didn't do nothing naughty I hope?”

“Do I see a hickey on your neck, dear brother?” Robb was quick to cover his neck and blushed furiously realizing that she was joking. If there was one it wasn’t visible.

“And who is the naughty one now?” their mother laughed.

“Not funny.” For an adult male Robb was acting like a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar.

“How is Jeyne?”

Sansa went to the kitchen not bothering to turn the light on. She took a glass from the cabinet and filed it with tap water. She drowned it with tree big gulps.

Her date with Joffrey was a complete disaster. It had started nicely, very nicely in fact as he invited her to eat dinner in a popular place and even reserved a table for just the two of them, it was very pleasant for her and after the meal they decided to go for walk. They were dating for over a month now and she did like him. When they had meet for the first time on a party her friend had dragged her to he was really sweet and charming, fetching drinks for her and telling jokes. They exchanged numbers and started to text, it didn’t take long for them to start dating but lately Joffrey was often annoyed and moody. Sansa hoped that it would be temporary and that he would soon come back to the sweet and charming guy she had meet at first.

On their way back her boyfriend insisted on them taking a different route and it was when their night went down the hill as it turned out that Joffrey wanted them to go to a nearby motel and Sansa refused. She was furious at him but still tried to remain polite but when her boyfriend argued that had already paid for it in advance she lost it. She had said something offensive, she wasn’t sure anymore what she had said and Joffrey in response decided to hit her. Hard.

He apologized, said he had a very bad day and he had not meant to do it and Sansa decided to believe him. She wanted to believe him. He had a rough day and guys like to have sex,yes? It relieves stress, that’s what people are often saying. Maybe she was just silly and he overreacted. A part of her was telling her that she was being foolish right now, that he had no excuse, but another part of her argued that it really might have been an accident and it will not happen again. She hoped that I wuld not happen again.

“You look troubled,” a silent voice startled her. She had almost dropped the glass, even thought she recognised the voice instantly. She turned around to face the other person.

“Jon,” she called his name in greeting. Her always sullen half-brother. “I didn't notice that I'm not alone.”

“Are you alright?” She could faintly see the outline of his face. He probably had the same unreadable expression he usually wore when around her. “Did something happen?

Did he notice something was off? It was dark in the kitchen, but he might have seen her from the light up corridor? Did her cover get smeared? No, her mother would have said something if it was the case. “No, I'm just tired.”

He tilted his head to the side and Sansa had to restrain herself from biting her lip in worry. She knew that gesture, Jon would always do that when he was not convinced of something.

He rose from his seat by the window and came to stand close to her. He took a good look on her face and for a second she was worried that he might see through her makeup. She did not want anyone to see it, it took her almost an hour in the ladies' room to cover it. She was ashamed, confused, worried and didn’t want anyone to see it and ask questions she was afraid to answer.

“I will go back to Robb. ” and with just that he was gone.

Sansa left out a long exhale. She was just overreacting.

 

II

 

The best way to not to think about something hurtful is being busy so Sansa made to sure remain occupied for the most of her time. She had attended her classes, payed attention in the most boring lectures, helped her youngest brother with his homework when mother could not and in her free time focused on sewing her stuffed toys. The last one was her favorite activity that she picked up years ago. She had an small army of plushies now and there was another army that she had gifted to her friends and family. She had also meet up a few times with Margaery to study and gossip. The two redheads had meet in high school and remained friends since then.

Week later after the date-gone-wrong Joffrey had called her and apologized properly once more. She had agreed to see him again and they decided to meet in a small coffee shop. When she came to the place he had flowers for her. Once again he was the sweet boy and she could not have been happier. Her sweet boyfriend was back.

A few dates later Joffrey returned to being moody and Sansa brushed it off thinking that his bad mood would pass.

 

III

 

In one of the popular fashion magazines that Sansa liked to collect there was an add that caught her attention. “Romeo and Juliet” musical would be played in the nearby town in one month.

After researching it and learning the details she got really excited. The tickets weren't sold off and weren’t very expensive, she could afford it.

But there was one problem. Who would accompany her?

Her first candidate should have been her boyfriend, but somehow Sansa doubted he would be interested. He would probably agree but Sansa was well aware that a bored Joffrey would not make as a pleasant company and she didn’t want her fun to end up being spoiled. She had already one ruined date with him and no intention of turning such a nice occasion into another one, thank you very much.

There was also Margaery but she knew her friend enough to know that Margery would be more interested in gossip and cute guys than the play. Sansa would have not blamed her, she would be doing the same if dragged somewhere she did not want to be and she knew Margaery was not in that kind of stuff. The date was before the start of the summer break so Bran and Arya were out of question too. Maybe she should go alone? She could, she would simply have be more careful and try not to wander too much in a city she did not know and catch the first train back home. Still, it is always safer to travel with someone. And...maybe there was someone who could enjoy it with her too.

That left her with the candidate number three, Robb.

“I promised to go to a wedding with Jeyne that day, I'm sorry Sansa.”

Sansa sighed heavily. Great. Just fucking great.

“Maybe you could ask Jon?”

Sansa blinked at him. She didn’t even try to consider him but even if she did the chance that he would actually agree was a slim one.

She and her half-brother weren't close. They used to be when children but Jon distanced himself from her with time. Even now when he would come to visit he would not spend much time in her company, excusing himself quickly and not talking much. Sansa used to wonder about, trying to remember if there was a reason for him being like that towards her. Has she offended him somehow? Destroyed his favorite tow? She couldn’t think of anything fitting.

“I don’t think that he likes musicals.”

Robb waved his hand. “He hates football and yet he bears with me.”

“Really?” She asked with genuine surprise, she had saw Jon with Robb many times watching games together.

“Yeah.” he laughed. “Try asking him.”

“I will consider it.”

She did, for a week. Jon visited two times and she took her time sitting with her two older brothers in the living room pondering if she should ask him or not, Robb even was trying to encourage her but she only shook her head at him. She also tried to find out if Jon really disliked football as Robb claimed and came to a conclusion that he might be right.

It was late when Jon decided that he should go back to his apartment and Sansa decided she might as well give it a try. She went after him to the door but the moment she had opened her mouth to say it she changed her mind. “It was nice to see you.,” she said instead.

He looked at her with surprised but smiled eventually. It was a polite smile and it lacked the warmth but it wasn't a fake one. “Same here, Sansa.”

When she came back to the living room Robb was waiting for her. “Did you ask?”

Sansa shook her head. “I'm going with a friend.”

“Oh. That's great.”

“Yeah.”

That night Sansa booked only one ticked.

 

IV

 

“By gods, what happened to you?” Her mother cried out the instant she had saw her. “Were you abused? Robbed?”

“No,” Sansa did only hear her faintly, her eyes were slightly unfocused. She was lost in her thoughts. “I just tripped.”

Robb came running to her after he had heard their mothers cry. “It looks pretty bad to me.” He took a good look at her. “Do you hurt somewhere else too?” Jon was looking her up and down from behind him.

This time she had a cut lip. Funny, she did not even realize it but now she could feel the metallic taste of blood in her mouth and when she looked down, she saw the long smear and stain on her blouse.

“No.”

“Where is Joffrey?” her mother had asked. “He should have not left you alone like that.”

Joffrey. She did not want to see him again, to hear about him. Never again.

“It had happened after we parted,” Sansa said.

“Let's clean that up, child. Come.’

 

They were in the park, sitting on a bench and talking about nothing in particular. His hands started to wander to much and Sansa pushed Joffrey away. Everything had happened so fast after that.

“You stupid, useless bitch!”

She saw him raising his hand and had heard the sound of it meeting her flesh.

“You dress like a whore and yet you won't give me any? I'm sick of you!”

She was afraid of him in that moment, terrified. He was shouting at her, calling her names that she could not repeat even if she tried and making threats, but she could not even hear it.

Sansa was frozen on her spot for a long time with bitter tears falling from her eyes. She didn’t know for how long she had stayed like that but when she had regained her senses Joffrey was gone and the only person in sight was one lone man who was walking with his dog out. Maybe ho got scared that someone saw what he did and left?

She did not understand. She did nothing wrong. Was he always like that? How could Sansa have been so blind?

 

V

 

Sleep did not come easily to her t hat night. She tried to calm down and even counted sheep but instead of making her sleepy it made her more frustrated. She gave up aften one hour and decided to get some fresh air at their porch. All light in the house were turned off so she suspected that she was the only one up. She took her bathroom robe and headed out. The night was warm and clear and a few stars were visible.

Sansa wished that her father was still there. She would tell him everything and after she would be done he would hug her, pat her head and give advice. He would give her a hug and hold her close until she could calm down. He would tell her she deserved better than that and that one day she would meet a nice and ind boy worthy of her affection. Just like he used to do when Ned Stark was still alive. Father was so easy to talk to when he wanted and could be stern when it was requested...Sansa missed him dearly, everybody did. She knew it for sure.

It had happened three years ago. Dad was coming home from work, picking Bran on his way.. It was a clear day but a drunk driver had crashed in them. Her father died on the spot and her brother would never walk again. Her mother had made a fancy diner that day, to celebrate Sansa's first successful semester at university. They were waiting with their food getting cold and then came a call from the hospital. The only relief was that Ned Stark did not suffer.

They didn’t have many savings and so their mother started working full-time again. Robb who was in his last year of studying took a small part-time job and Sansa switched from her University to the local one, her mother was against it insisting that Sansa worked hard to get there but the girl didn’t listen. She wanted to help and with her being home it saved money too.

Jon moved out not long after that even thought everyone insisted that he could stay. He had a different mother, deceased long ago but it did not matter. They were raised together and even thought mother did not love him like the rest of her children she did care about him and made sure he knew that. Jon had insisted that he wanted to move out for some time already and that he will be living close . He visited almost everyday when he had a chance and did his best to help out too. When mother had refused to take money from him, telling that there was no need and he should spend it on something for himself he had started to buy groceries for them instead.

She was sitting for a while, the street lights were out and she could make out more stars now. It was silent until Grey Wind gave a bark. She turned to stare at the street and noticed a lone figure was there, taking a stroll. She could not make it out who it was but it could not have been a stranger because Grey Wind didn’t bark more. The person came close to their gate and lit up a cigarette. Now she did recognize him. When finished he crushed it under his foot and came through the gate. Grey Wind was already by his side waiting to greet him.

“Hey boy,” Jon patted the dog. He stopped short when he noticed her.

“I didn't know you smoke.”

“Because I don't,” he said and walked straight to the house.

Sansa was surprised when he emerged back two minutes later with a blanked and two bottles in hand. He tucked the blanked over her shoulders.

“Thanks,” she muttered and he said nothing. “I could not sleep.”

Jon sat next to her. “Me too.”

“So you took a walk.”

“Had to clear my mind.”

“Did it help?”

“Not really, no.”

He handed her a bottle. I was beer but she did not recognize the brad. “I don't really like beer much.”

Jon gave her a wry smile and a shrug. “This one is sweet, give it a try.”

“Okay,” she passed it for him to open it for her.

Sansa sniffed it and took a tentative swig. “It's good.” she said surprised.

“I like to drink a dark beer when I'm in a foul mood. It's sweet and yet sour, thought you might like it too, like lemon cakes.”

Sansa didn’t like normal beer so she never tried different kinds of it. His thoughtfulness made her smile a little.

“Can you stay with me for a while?” Sansa asked and felt silly. He was already there.

“You did not think I brought two fine beers just for you, did you?” Jon had put his arm around her shoulders and Sansa scooted closer. She could not remember the last time they were like that.

She laughed and shook her head. “Thanks.”

“You looked like you might need it.”

They did not talk much, just sat together and drank. She felt safe in his half-embrace. Suddenly the whole evening wasn't so awful anymore. It was nice.

 

VI

 

It was Rickon who had opened the door. He was about to head out to school when there was a knock on the front door. A police officer was asking about Sansa.

“How can I help you?” she asked confused. What did police want to do with her?

“Do you know Joffrey Baratheon?”

“Yes, we used to date.” Did somebody see them and reported him? She doubted it.

“Used to?”the man repeated.

“We got into an argument on our last date. I believe it's safe to assume that we broke up.”

“He was assaulted on first at morning, Sunday. His mother had filed a report and is insisting that we question you. Can you come with us and give a testimony?” Two hours after she came back home that night.

“Right now?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.” she sighed. “Let me grab my bag.”

The questioning took almost an hour. She was asked about the time they had meet and how they had parted. She did not mention the nasty incident or the circumstances of their break-up, she focuses on her way back home. There were questions about her noticing someone suspicious and if she knew where Joffrey had went after they had parted their ways. ”No.”

“Maybe he had enemies?” the cop asked. “Did you see him arguing with anyone?”

“Not that I'm aware of it. No.”

It turned out that after their last date her boyfriend had went to a bar and got himself into a fight, it wasn’t clear who had done it. He had two broken ribs, black eye and disjointed right hand. Sansa did not feel sorry for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be from Jon's POV and will tell us more about him. And there will be a little more action between those two. Let me know what you think ^^ Thank you for your time and have a good day!


	3. Jon I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amasan: So, how do you like your job, Jon? *evil chuckle*  
> Jon: *throws a keyboard at her head* I hate you!
> 
> Hi, guys! I hope I'm not disappointing too much with this chapter, because it was not easy to write it. Jon is a little tricky, but I hope that the way I had painted him with words is enough to show you how I am imagining him in this little story :D
> 
> I'm thinking of expanding this idea of mine a little more, so there might be ten or even more chapters instead of five as I had intended before. I'm not sure yet about it, but I will let you know guys.
> 
> Beware of my crappy grammar and other horrors *cough * Ramsay *cough* I will try to fix those with time.
> 
> For all kind words, comments and kudos, thank you so much :D I'm very happy that you like my story.

I

 

Lily white skin and silky hair sprawled on a white pillow, the lose strands were shining in the dim light of the moon. Silent pants and pleas echoing on naked skin.The room was mostly covered in darkness, but he could still see how her eyes sparkled. Nails were digging into the flesh of his back.

“More, please.” Such beautiful, rosy lips. They were moist and slightly parted now and he was the cause of it. “More.”

All to happy to please her, he was whispering into her ear sweetly, “tell me what you want, darling girl.”

“You.”

Her smell was overwhelming his senses. Her voice and labored breathing was all he could hear, even if the world would be ending right now with a roar. “I want us as one.” She was everything.

 He entered her slowly and kissed her damp brow. Her nails were digging almost painfully into his back now, but he didn't care. She was his.

 “Sing for me, love.” Their peace was slow and unhurried. They had all the time in the world. “Let me hear you,” he was murmuring sweetly against her long neck.

 And she did. Her cries were as beautiful as was she. They were moving faster now and she was kissing him, not only his lips but face and shoulders leaving small bite marks on him as she did so. Marking him as hers and by gods, even if he would be dammed for it, he was. He always was. She was close, her braething more labored and her skin deliciously damp. “Oh god, Jon!”

 Jon opened his eyes startled and looked around frantically. It was morning. He was alone. There was no trace of anybody but him. There were no bite marks and no scratches on his skin, only the remaining fog of a dream that could not come true.

 He cursed aloud. "Not again.”

It was always the same one and he dreaded it as much as he welcomed it, he loathed himself for embracing the visions his sick and twisted mind was gifting him with in his sleep. Those dreams were the only thing he could ever hope to have, so he had decided long ago to cherish them. He had to. There is no other way.

 

II

  

Sometimes Jon wished he had picked a different Job. The pay was good, but usually he was either frustrated or bored as hell.

“This shit is not running again,” he was talking to himself as he often did when at work. Jon was trying to keep his voice low, not wanting to catch anyone's attention. Nobody would be surprised to hear the annoyance in his tone and nobody would take any offense in a few curses, it was a normal occurrence in the office, but it could also cause an interest. And he really did not wont to talk. With anyone. Just not now.

“Why won't you work with me, bitch!?” One minute ago his code was running smoothly, calculating, now it refused to even properly compile. The compiler showed him warnings about errors, when he didn't even change the code. _'"Just what the hell? "_

“I will be right back,” Jon said to colleague sitting not so far from him.

“Sure, take your time.” If there was one thing that Jon didn't loathe in his job right now, it was his project buddy, Sam. For a socially awkward person, Sam knew when his help could be appreciated and when not. This is why they were effective while working together.

 Once outside, he lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. He was just in a foul mood because he had overslept and didn't finish his morning coffee. And damn, he needed it.

He exhaled a long puff of smoke. “Fuck.” Sansa had seen him smoking, he should have been smarter than that. But how could he know that she would be outside in the middle of the night? He was an adult, but he had always made sure to be never seen with a coffin nail by any of the Starks. He didn't want to be seen as an bad example...and he would rather not have the talk about health.

When he saw her there he intended to leave her alone there just like he always did, but he could not bring himself to do it. She was hugging herself like a small child and was so miserable, so alone. He could not have left her like that. So he stayed with her, for once he had tried to pretend he was something he had failed to be. Jon had visited a few days later, but returned to keeping his distance from her. He felt like kicking himself when her smile dropped when she realized he was back to avoiding her, but it had to be done.

_“It's for the best.”_

Jon crushed the butt and went back to his work, fetching coffee along his way back.

 _"Work with me, cheap shit”_ He was in the middle of writing the loop anew, after realizing that he actually did screw up and it's a wonder that it worked for even a second.

Sam spook from behind him, “something's wrong with our servers.”

“Great.”

“They calling a meeting, come.” Sam nudged him.

With the testing servers down there was not much work that could be done, so there would be talking about developing the current project. It was a boring meeting, about deadlines and almost nothing more. Jon was glad when it ended and he could go back to his code. True, sometimes he hated coding with passion and right now he was once again gritting his teeth in frustration, but there were also moments that did feel rewarding. The moments when everything worked and he knew exactly why it did work this time. He hit compile and was rewarded with no errors. Then he tried to run it again and again. After correcting a few things his code finally started to work as he had intended it. “That's right, baby.”

It was funny, actually. When code doesn't work one must think why. But when the code actually works you also wonder why. This was his everyday struggle and as much as it annoyed him, Jon liked it.

 

III

 

“Did you hear?” Arya's voice was loud and clear even before her face could be seen on his computer screen

“Hear what?” He looked up from his beer. He was in the middle of installing a new programming environment in order to get more of his work at home and accepted her cal the moment he noticed she was video-calling.

“Sansa's ex got his ass kicked!” Arya didn't even try to conceal her glee and it had made Jon snort.

 "So?”

Arya made a strange noise and he rolled his eyes at her.“No.” Arya's smile faltered if just a little. “What happened?”

“Damn! I hoped you would knew more than I.”

Jon raised his bottle up in mock toast and waited for her to do the same after noticing she also had a bottle in hand. He took a sip of his beer. “Nobody told me about it, sorry.”

Arya shrugged. “I don't knew much either. Robb only told me that she was questioned by the cops. I thought that-” she abruptly cut off when Jon started choking. “Jon are you all right?! Don't die on me, i don't need you to haunt me!”

“Sorry,” he said after he was dome with slapping his chest. “ Fuck,” he choked a little more. “Cops?”

“Yeah, that's what Robb said.”

“Anything else?”

“Only that that prick is in a hospital.”

“Good. “ Jon toasted again “Good.”

Arya laughed and mimicked his action “Is it not bitchy, that Sansa had left him after he got his ass kicked? Not that I blame her, who would want to date a count?” She hiccuped and started to laugh.

Jon grinned at her. “Me. You know, men aren't exactly my type”

 Arya almost spat her drink. She wiped her with a sleeve. “Is that your first beer?”

“Maybe.”

“There is no way you just said that while sober. Where is my always sad brother? Did you finally pull out that stick from your ass?”

Arya was easy to talk to. They could joke and be crude to each other and it suited Jon just fine. Arya was a girl, but Jon always treated her more like a brother and it suited her. Arya didn't like to be pampered and took pride in it, but she was really spoiled and was not even aware of it. In it's ow way it was funny to Jon, but he never mentioned it. Well...it was their father who was always spoiling her, so maybe with him gone she did realize it after all. Or maybe not. Who knew?

“So little fate in me, dear sister. And that stick if fine, thank you.” he shook his head in mock hurt. “On the serious side. I think they broke up before.”

“Really? Why?”

“Quoting you, he is a count.”

Arya winged her brows. “Then why don't you date him?

“I don't like blondes, sorry.”

“I'm sure they are sorry too.”

Jon scratched his beard in thought. Nobody had told him about Sansa's questioning, even his sister who was miles away had know about it and he didn't. Why hasn't Robb told him? Or Catelyn? He was family to them, was he not?Or maybe...did they think that he wouldn't care?

“Am I really such a big ass?” he must have said it aloud, because Arya was starting at him with a strange expression.

“Because someone is not your type?”

“Sorry, my mind was elswere.” Jon finished his beer and cheked the time. “It's still early. I will go and check on them. I will tell you If I find something out.”

“Sure,” she nodded. “Jon?”

Maybe he could also go to the store? Buy a few things, a large piece of good quality meat and a few lemons? But he did buy grogeries the last time, and catelyn had asked him to refrain for this week.

“Hmmm?”

Arya wore a pained expression on her face. “Could you find out...if she was not ataced too?”

_"What?"_

“Why would she be?”

“She had a broken lip right? And sometimes she's a liar, so maybe she just lied and something bad happened or...I don't know. Maybe someone tried to, you know, she is pretty and-” He didn't like where that train of thoughts was leading.

“Arya,” Jon cut her in. “She might be a liar sometimes, but I doubt that something half as bad as you might imagine right now would ever come to pass. Not without dire consequences, trust me.”

“You think so?”

“Of curse.” Jon smiled at Arya. “And now please, stay out of trouble.”

Jon disconnected before she could try to protest, saying it was him who was the trouble making one. Not that she wasn't right, but he would not let Arya know it. Or anyone if he could help it. It would be faster with car, but he did drink and would rather not risk a ticked and confiscation of his drivers license. He put on a clean shirt, picked comfortable shoes and headed out.

The walk was not long, about forty minutes or so. Upon reaching the familiar house Jon stopped to sniff at his clothes making sure if the smell of nicotine did not linger on him. Only one light was on in the house, so Jon suspected that Robb was at work.

“Jon.” He was proven right when it was a sleepy Catelyn who had opened the door and invited him inside. “I was getting worried you have forgotten about us.”

 “Never,” he kissed her on the cheek. “Robb is at work?”

 “Yes, he just left. You missed him by ten maybe twenty minutes.” Jon took off his shoes and jacked and followed his step-mother into the house, but instead of going straight to the living room with her he went to the kitchen.

 “I'm thirsty, do you want some tea?”

 “I already have tea, thank you,” Catelyn called after him.

When he came to to join her, Catelyn was sitting on the sofa and patted the place next to her for him to sit. “You should use your spare key," she gave him a tired smile. “It's your home.”

 “I know,” he made a sheepish face, but then frowned. “How are you?” She was tired, more tired that he had realized at first. There were deep gray circles under her eyes and her shoulders were hunched.

 “I'm fine.” Catelyn was not his mother and reminded him of it more than once, but it did not mean that she was a stranger to him. She had raised him with her own children and never denied Jon anything. When her husband-his father had died she insisted that Jon could remain with them. That he was welcome.

 “Catelyn, I don't feel like at home when I'm being feed polite lies.”

He had never called her mother, but not because he didn't want to, but because she had told him not to when he was little.He was a child of another woman, a woman who was also loved by Ned Stark and Catelyn had told Jon it was only right to honor the memory of that woman. She never loved him the same way she had loved her children, but it did not differ from it that much. She cared. It was enough.

 What would you think of me, If you knew the truth? Could you bear the knowledge that one you were once holding close to your chest has a tainted heart?

 “It was a long day, that's all.” Jon only gave her a pointed look. She shook her head. “You don't need to burden yourself, Jon.”

 “Tell me about it.” He added please for good measure.

 “Rickon was in a fight again,” she finally said refusing to look in his direction, her eyes focused on the carped.

 Jon did not expect that. He had thought that his youngest brother had stopped picking up fights. “He didn't start it,” Catelyn added as if reading his thoughts. “I don't understand it either. From all of you he might be the most obedient child and yet he is either the bully or is bullied.”

 If this conversation was not about Rickon and his fights, but about all of Stark children in general, Jon would have pointed out that Rickon was hardly the most obedient from them, but he held his tongue.

 “Is he fine?”

 “Yes, it was cut short. Thank god.” She was playing with the cup in her hands. Her tea was almost untouched and probably cold by now. “I was called right after it had happened. I went to pick him up.”

 “But weren't you right after your shift?”

 “I was.”

 Catelyn was working as a nurse and she did mostly night shifts, because the pay was better. She was once again working in the same hospital she had meet his father when he was running Jon's check ups. It was also the same place where Ned had lost his first wife and where his body was taken to for examination. Catelyn had learned that Bran will be a cripple for the rest of his days. For a few happy memories there was a lot of bitter ones engraved in that place. Jon wondered how could she bear being there so often.

 “Did you sleep at all?”

 “Not really.”

 They were silent for a while. “What did his teacher say? The creepy one?”

 “Ramsay?” she rose one eyebrow at him and Jon nodded. “He's not creepy. I would say he is quite nice. He was surprised by it, he said that Rickon and the rest of the boys were well behaved. He made them write an essay about friendship as punishment.”

 Jon snorted. It did sound torturous enough for him. “If he is so nice how did you know I was talking about him? Maybe I had somebody else in mind?”

 “Robb said the same thing about him.”

 “Oh.” Maybe Jon was being petty, but something about that man unnerved him. He seemed nice at first glance. Polite, friendly and if he remembered correctly what Rickon had said about him, he adored dogs. But still something did not feel right with him to Jon. He could not put his finger on it, maybe he was overprotective or something. He had meet him only twice and briefly, so he shouldn't judge him.

“He was asking about Sansa.”

_"Scratch that."_

“How nice of him.”

“Right?”

Jon cleared hit throat. There was a reason he had come here, he should focus on it. “How is she?”

“Sansa?” There was a clear surprise in her voice. “She is fine. In her room, but I don't think she is asleep. I heard music before so she might be up. Why are you asking?”

As long as she was fine nobody would bother him about her, Jon realized. It was how he wanted, but somehow it still hurt.

Jon shrugged and Catelyn frowned. “Arya is worried.”

Catelyn nodded as it explained his sudden curiously, but then winced. “I'm sorry, my head hurts to much. I need to lay down.”

“You shouldn't have forced yourself.”

“I don't get to talk to any of you as often as I used to.”

After Catelyn had bid him goodnight Jon decided to try his luck with Sansa. He marched up the stairs, turned to the corner and was greeted by the sight of the very person he was searching for, perched at the last step of the stairs.

Jon froze in his steps. How long was she there? Did Sansa listen to his talk with Catelyn? Even if she did Jon didn't say nothing out of ordinary. She was looking him in the eyes and there was something off with her stare. It was cold.

Sansa spoke before he could even open his mouth. “Tell her that I'm fine.”

So she did listen to them. “Who?”

“Arya,” Sansa broke they eye contact and looked to the side. “Also tell her that it would have been much kinder if she decided to ask herself. At leas I could pretend that she cares.”

_“The hell?”_

“Of curse that she cares!” Yes, the two sisters did argue all the time, but they did care about one another. “She keeps asking about you all the time.”

Sansa laughed at him, but there was no mirth in her voice. “Of curse, she does.” She seemed bitter.

“But she won't talk with me, even if I try. It looks more like a search for gossip to me.”

Jon was very well aware that the two girls did not talk much and he also knew Arya's reasoning behind that. She simply did not know how.

“Sansa, please. She is your sister, of curse she cares.”

This did caught her attention. Sansa turned her stare at him and for a second Jon thought he was winning this foolish argument.

“And you are my brother, yet you almost never care.”

He opened his mounth only to close it again. Shit. Jon was never good with words and had no idea what to respond. A simple 'you're wrong' didn't seem to be good enough in his mind.

“Sansa, I-”

She cute him off. “Don't bother. Just don't.” Her angry demeanor seemed to drop, but it was replaced with a very sad expression. She looked even sadder when the last time they shared a beer. “You were kind to me. And I was foolish enough to think that maybe you do care, at least just a little about me. But then you just pretend I don't even exist. You ignore me like I'm some kind of a parasite. And when you come to talk to me, it's because somebody asked you to do it.” A lone tear made it's way across her cheek.

Jon wanted to drop to his knees and hold her tight, to wipe away that tear and tell her that he was an idiot. He did none of it. He only lifted her chin, pleading to anyone above who could listen that she would at least meet his eyes. She did.

“I care, Sansa. Believe me, I do.”

_“More than you can imagine.”_

Sansa clearly didn't believe him. “You have a strange way of showing it. Good night, Jon.” Sansa went back to her room and Jon didn't try to stop her.

It was for the best, he told himself. Sansa didn't need him. She had Robb, Bran and Rickon. She had three other brothers and a loving mother, she wasn't alone. There was also Arya and Jon knew the younger girl did care, but had no idea how to express it. She was fine. She wasn't lonely. ...but deep down he knew that being fine did not mean being well and caring about someone was different than making one feel being cared about. He knew it all to well and feel like an idiot.

“It's for the best,” he spoke silently to himself.

_“It's for the best.”_

_“It's for the best.”_

 

...No matter how many times he tried to repeat those words it never made him hurt no less.

 

IV

 

The date with the redhead wasn't going so bad. She was a friend of one of colleges from work. They had been dating for a while now and Jon really did like her.

“Maybe, we should go to my place?” Ygritte suggested with a clear intend.

“And what will be doing there?” He liked to pretend that he was a green boy even if bot of them had know it was not the case.

“Fucking like rabbits!” She had a foul mouth, but he never mined it.

“I could love you,” he thought.

They left the pub and went to her apartment. They were in the middle of undressing when Jon's phone started to ring.

“Just turn it off.” He was tempted to, he really was, but this tune was reserved to only one number and he recognized it in an instant. Jon didn't even know she had his cell number, but considering he got hers from Robb she could have somehow obtained it the same way.

“It might be important." Ygritte distracted him by kissing him in the neck, a place she had come to know was very sensitive to touch, and took the phone from his hand switching it off. The action annoyed him, but he said nothing. Maybe Sansa had confused numbers, she didn't even look at him and refused to be in his presence. But then the phone went off again and Jon concluded that it might be not an accidental call at all. He pushed the girl away and grabbed for his phone.

“Yes?” he answered.

“The hell Snow?!” the girls next to him shouted with disbelief and rage. “A dammed call is more important that fucking me?!”

Jon ignored her and went to another room. The call got disconnected, so he redialed the number and waited for Sansa to answer. She did, but not at first ring.

“Jon?” she asked unsure.

“It's me, Sansa.” There was something in her voice that made something stir in him. It was not her normal voice. It sounded all wrong and filed him with dread.

“I'm sorry. I- I, it's a bad time right?” Her voice was strained. Not angry, happy or sad. There was an emotion there, but it could not be a good one.

“No, not at all.”

“I will try to call someone else or-” There was a tremble and Jon realized that something was indeed wrong.. Sansa was afraid. She was afraid of something he didn't know nothing about and was calling to him for help.

He tried not to panic. “Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“I-I'm so sorry Jon, I'm bothering you after I was so awful and I shouldn't have bothered you now-”

He restrained himself from growling aloud. “Stop. Just stop with the bullshit will you? I can tell something is not right. It's middle of the night and you sound...” he cut for a second. He did not want to say scared. Sansa was prideful and could take offense. He could not risk Sansa drooping the call and not answering him. He would end up going mad with worry.

“Scared,” she finished for him. “I am scared.”

Jon was pacing around the room like a wild animal trapped in a cage. “Where are you? I will come for you, alright. Just tell me where you are, please.”

“I...there was something I wanted to see today in another city and... well, I went alone, but I missed my train. I could wait the night out, but...somebody stole my wallet and-”

“For fucks sake! Why did you go alone?”

“Doesn't matter.”

“Of curse it does! What if something worse had happened to you? What if, what if..” He would not finish the sentence. The same dammed fear Arya had was creeping upon him now. “Are you safe?”

“I'm close to a gas station I think.”

“Good. Get inside and tell me the address. And don't hand up.” He went for his discarded jacked and put it on, refusing to meet his girlfriend's furious glare as he did so keeping the phone close to his ear the whole time. He could hear that Sansa entered a building and was talking to someone. When he was in the middle of lacing his shoes she told him the place she was exactly in.

“I think I know where the place is, I was there before.I should be there in two hours, wait for me.”

“I have to hang up, the battery is low.”

“Stay where you are.”

“Alright.”

When the call ended he started cursing. Maybe if he will be lucky he won't be pulled over by any cop on his way. He had only one beer and was sober, but it was enough to get in trouble. Their family had enough history with drunk drivers. Thank god, he left his car close to the pub. If it was closer to his place Sansa would have to wait one hour longer.

“Who was she?!”

If a stare could kill Jon would be dead right now.

“My sister,” he said simply.

The woman waved her hands at him incredulous. “You have another brother if I remember right.”

“He's busy.”

She snorted, “and you weren't!?” Something told him that if he will leave her right now with no better explanation Ygritte won't welcome him back. But there was no time for that. He will worry about that later, if at all.

“I'm sorry, Ygritte,” he said while grabbing the door knob, but hesitated for a second. He turned to kiss her and she accepted his lips, but before she could try to deepen it Jon pulled away. “I have to go.”

Her expression darkened. “Go to hell, Jon Snow.” He left through the door and heard her shout out after him. “Go to hell and don't come back!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you were wondering if Jon is already in love with Sansa, so I hope the answer is oblivious now. Thank you for your time. Please share your thoughts :D


	4. Sansa II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really grateful for annarosym's help. For pointing out not only typos but showing me how to word my sentences better. Thank you so much! Not only for that but also for your patience.
> 
> I'm proud of this chapter :D Finally some feelings and Jon/Sansa action. Have a great day/night guys!

I

 

The night was warm, but Sansa was cold. The musical was beautiful, the actors convincing enough and the music would remain with her memory for a long time. She had great time and then...then again something went wrong. She was waiting on the train station sitting on one of those dirty benches when she noticed her purse missing with her wallet and train ticket inside.

It was pure luck that her cellphone was in her breast pocket. At first she wanted to call Robb. Her older brother was always her first choice and even if he failed her sometimes too, he had always good reasons for it. But calling him now, when she knew he was attending a wedding as a guest would be like Sansa had failed him. She lied to him after all. Told him she wasn't going alone in order for Robb not to worry. She knew that he would come for her as meeting Jeyne’s parents for the first time and was dead set on making a good first impression. What would Jeyne’s parents think when he would suddenly leave them because his good for nothing sister has gotten herself in trouble?

_...Again._

There was also one more problem with Robb, one she would rather avoid. Her brother was a good guy but he was a mama’s boy. If he were to know about Sansa's foolishness he would tell mother and she had enough on her plate already, so both her and Robb were out of question.

Sansa considered Theon but sadly realized that she didn't have his number. She scrolled through her contact list and noticed one number she never dared to call.

_Jon. Her brother._

Last time she saw him she was awful. But Jon, Jon was silent and kind. He wasn't angry with her back then, he was troubled yes, but he wasn't angry. So maybe he could help her out. That is...if he would want to. She was biting her lip in thought when she noticed two homeless men were looking at her. Maybe Jon won't come for her but at least he would tell somebody that she was in trouble. She got up and walked away from the station making sure that no one was following her. She was afraid, she had no money and no friends in this city. Sansa took a deep breath and pressed dial.

When the second call was finally accepted the first sound that she could make out was a low whine of a woman.

_Oh._

Sansa panicked and dropped the call. When her cell started to ring in her palm Sansa was hesitant to answer. Her cheeks were pink from embarrassment when she pressed the green button. She heard the feminine voice angry now and then she heard footsteps until there were no background noises except Jon. She had clearly interrupted them. The thought of Jon about to be intimate with a woman, the very same cold and distant Jon...

She had ruined his date. Robb never mentioned Jon having a girlfriend but maybe he didn't know about her. It was no surprise that he had one, Jon was not only good looking but also smart with good income. It was more surprising that he wasn't married already or had a fiancé.

Their talk was short and soon Sansa was sitting in the gas station pondering about Jon's outburst. She was expecting his annoyance and disappointment, but there was none of it, instead Jon sounded angry. Never before had Sansa heard him curse. His harsh voice had made her tremble and yet after the call had ended Sansa realized that somehow his ire didn't seem to be directed at her, not completely.

_Maybe it was because of that girl?_

True to his words Jon was there in two hours. Sansa saw his car being parked next to the entrance and she wondered what should she tell him. Her mind was filled with both hope and dread. She was safe now, they would make their way home and maybe nobody else will find out about tonight...Would he be angry with her? Would she lose him for good now? Maybe some time ago she did something to upset him and he became distant with her and she had made something stupid again and troubled him. What if ends up openly hating her now?

Jon walked up to her and took a good at her. They were starting at each other in silence for a few minutes. Sansa opened her mouth to say something, anything to him but she couldn't find the right words.

“Just get in the car,” Jon ordered her and Sansa did as she was told, nodding her head in thanks to a cashier on her way out. Jon was right behind her with two energy drinks and a pack of cigarettes in hand. He placed one can in her lap and started the engine.

“Jon, I-”

“Don't.” He cut her off.

They rode in silence for some time and Sansa noticed that he was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that knuckles were getting white. They were in the middle of their road trip back when Jon suddenly pulled over and jumped out of the vehicle.

Sansa thought better than follow him until she heard him mumbling curses and noticed that he was searching his pockets for something, an unlit cigarette was dangling from his lips. Sansa looked around in the car and found the item Jon was probably searching for. She went out of the car and handed the lighter to him.

Jon took a long drag and then another while Sansa watched him in silence. When he was done he dropped the bud and crushed it under foot. His gaze was unnerving and Sansa took a deep breath ready for his possible outburst, but it never came.

When Jon finally did speak, he sounded sad. “How come you went alone? If I remember right Robb told me you were going with a friend or something.”

Sansa sighed. It would have been easier if Jon had been angry. Saying it now, when he looking at her with nothing but sadness Sansa felt horrible. “I lied.” She waited for him to say something and comment how stupid she was but Jon remained silent waiting for her to continue. “I asked Robb at first but you know.” Jon nodded at her to go on. “Margery wouldn't have come with me and I had no one else and I really wanted to go, so I went alone.”

“You could have asked me.”

And she had considered it, but she decided not to tell him about it. She didn't want to upset him more. “Would you have come with me?” She was really curious now.

Jon turned around from her. “If I would have known that you would have gone alone ~~otherwise~~ I would of.” He rubbed his nose. “If I didn't pick the phone, what would you do?”

Sansa shrugged. “Found a place to stay in the night and call Margaery in the morning.”

“The fuck, Sansa?” Jon stepped up closer and grabbed her shoulder. “Did it even occur to you how bad it could have ended? “His grip was strong but not painful.

She scoffed at him “Don't be so dramatic. One night in the street would hardly kill me.”

And then Jon did something she never expected him to do. His hands moved from her shoulders to her back and suddenly she was caught into a warm embrace, pressed flush to his muscular chest. “But you could have easily gotten hurt.” Sansa stood frozen for a second not saying nothing but when she felt him removing his arms she hurriedly hugged him back and rested her forehead in the crock of his neck.

_He smells nice._

She could feel a vein pulse in the place her cheek was meeting with his skin. “Stupid,” he murmured into her hair and Sansa realized that she was close to tears. She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. Jon had his hands on her elbows still not completely letting her go. She met his gaze and gasped, so much emotion was there. “I would never forgive myself if something had happened to you.” His eyes were so sincere, so kind and ...scared? She wanted to be back into his arms and so she did. Back into his strong arms, wide shoulders. In this moment he was so much like their father it almost hurt.

“Were you...” she whispered into his neck. “Were you worried about me?”

Jon was running his hand through her hair. “What kind of a stupid question is that?” He cupped her chin and made her look at his face. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Sansa felt ashamed all over again. “I thought, I thought that you were angry that I had ruined your date.” She felt silly saying it, but it was true. She did ruin his date and yet he was anything but kind.

Jon snorted. “I wasn't going so good anyway.”

_Right._

“Let's go home.”

The air didn't feel so heavy anymore when they were back in the car and on the road.

“It's a wonder Catelyn didn't call you yet,” Jon wondered aloud.

“Oh, I told that I will be away for the night.” Sansa noticed that a frown was making its way on his face and added. “Just to be safe.”

Her brother made a disapproving sound but remained silent.

They were almost back when Jon spoke surprising Sansa. “Stay at my place.”

She knew that he lived close to their home and she had his address written down somewhere in her notepad but she never was there. Jon never invited her before and she never accompanied Robb or Arya when they were heading there.

“Sansa?” She must have spaced out because Jon was getting impatient.

“Sorry,” she bit her lip. She wanted to see how he lived. She was curious about it before but never dared to ask, afraid he would either reject her or make her feel unwelcome. But this time he was offering. “I think that I would like that...Very much so.”

She knew that he lived close to their home and she had his address written down somewhere in her notepad but she never was there. Jon never invited her before and she never accompanied Robb or Arya when they were heading there.

“Sansa?” She must have spaced out because Jon was getting impatient.

“Sorry,” she bit her lip. She wanted to see how he lived. She was curious about it before but never dared to ask, afraid he would either reject her or make her feel unwelcome. But this time he was offering. “I think that I would like that...Very much so.”

 

II

 

It was almost dawn when they finally arrived. Jon parked his car in front of a new and modern flat and together they headed inside.

Jon's apartment was quite tidy, a far cry from the messy room he used to share with Robb when he was still living with them. It wasn't big, just one room with an adjoined kitchen and a bathroom but if Jon wanted the room could be easily divided into two.

“It's not much but at least it's mine,” he said flushed.

“I think it's great. You worked hard for it.” Jon was only twenty-five and had already his own place. It was impressive that he had already bought a property instead of renting it and he didn't need to take a loan in order to do so. In its own way it was funny that he was the only one from them who didn't enroll into a university and yet he was the one who had no problems with money.

“Are you hungry? I can fix you something if you want.” Jon already in front of the fridge.

“No, I'm fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” she really wasn't hungry even though she didn't eat in hours. “Can I have some tea?”

“Sure.” Jon filled the kettle with tap water and set it to boil. “But I have only black tea.”

Sansa rose her brows at him “So?”

“You like green more,” he stated while searching for clean mugs. His back was facing her.

It was nice to know that he remembers such a small detail. “And you hate it.”

Jon looked at her over his shoulder and Sansa noticed that a smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. “True.”

She gulped feeling somehow uneasy and looked around his room. A big bookshelf with books, a small closet, a bed and an old desk. Her gaze lingered on the last piece of furniture. Sansa recognized this desk. It was the same one their father had bought for Jon a long time ago and she had thought that he had thrown it away long ago as it was not in the best of shapes but there it was. Upon closer inspection Sansa noticed that it was also painted anew. She debated with herself about asking about it but decided not to as it would only lead them to talking about their father. In search of something to say she noticed a gray doggy bed in the corner of the room.

“You have a dog?”

“Not yet.” Jon called from behind her and she almost jumped.

She took the mug from his hand and took a grateful gulp. “But you want to?”

“I'm still considering.” He smiled at her. “I will find you something comfortable to wear.”

“There's no need.” She felt that she was imposing on him enough.

“I'll pretend I didn't catch that,” he was already rummaging through his clothes and Sansa accepted that there was no arguing about it. She finished nursing her tea and Jon handed her a folded t-shirt and shorts that were clearly way to big for her but she took them anyway. “Take a shower and I will fix our sleeping.”

“Do you have a sleeping bag I could use?” there was only one bed and it was small. Big enough to have one person comfortably or two if they were laying close.

“I will think of something, don't worry,” he scratched his beard. “Fresh towels are on the washing machine.”

“Thanks.”

 

When Sansa stepped out of the bathroom wearing only panties and his t-shirt as his shorts were way to lose Jon was already asleep, but not in bed as she had expected. He was tucked in the sleeping bag with no pillow. Sansa shook her head at him, she was supposed to sleep in that bag not him. She took the pillow from his bed and gently placed it under Jon's head. He mumbled something and started snoring.

_He must be really tired. And whose fault is that?_

Sansa was about to go back to the bathroom and take a few towels for using instead of a pillow when her eyes landed on the doggy bed.

_This will do._

 

III

 

The first thing Sansa noticed upon waking up was the quiet sound fingers hitting the keys. She opened her eyes and looked around. Jon was up and already working on something, headphones in his ears and a cup of coffee next to his keyboard. Then she noticed that the neatly folded sleeping bad and the doggy bed next to it, her head was resting on a pillow. She turned back to Jon, he was scowling at something. Sansa didn't know much about Jon's work as a web developer but she did have a fair idea that programming wasn't easy. She remembered the surprise of everyone when Jon announced that he got a job in this field. She must have spaced out for some time because when she focused back at the present she blinked surprised to see him staring back at her.

“Good morning,”

“Morning,” Jon smiled at her. “Did I wake you?”

She shook her head. “Did you sleep at all?”

“A few hours.” He got up and went to the kitchen. Sansa yawned loudly and rubbed at her left eye. She was starting to feel silly. Of course he couldn't sleep, she had taken his bed. She should get up and go home, she had bothered him enough.

Jon came back with a cup and handed it to her. The liquid inside was still warm but not hot anymore.

“It's still warm but I can make you another one if you want.”

“No! It's perfect. You didn't have too,” she took a sip and blinked. It was just the way she liked, with a drop of milk and one spoon of sugar.

“How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“How I like my coffee?”

Sansa had taken a liking to the beverage not so long ago and she only drank it in the morning. She didn't expect him to know that she even drank it at all as Jon was rarely enough at home in the mornings. But he made it just right when even Robb had always added way too much sugar and made it too mild.

Jon shrugged. “Lucky guess.”

It was so bizarre. She was here, with Jon as it was a normal occurrence. Like it wasn't the first time she was here and it wasn't the first time since forever with the two of them spending more than an hour together with no one else around. In one night she saw Jon going from being angry to being sad in a matter of seconds and all because of her. Jon was always kind in his own silent way but this... The Jon she had known yesterday was cold and sullen, this one here was warm and made her fuzzy. It was strange and nice at the same time.

Sansa laughed and Jon resumed his typing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upcoming chapter: Catelyn (and maybe Tormund).


	5. Jon II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! A small change of plans, instead of Catelyn on search we have more of Jon.  
> Thank you all for your support, comments and kudos. Also thanks for adding me to collections. It's really great to know that people have good time while reading my story.  
> This chapter is dedicated to annarosym. Thank you for your help and the effort you are putting into proofreading and fixing my mistakes. 
> 
> Have a nice day/night!

 I

 

“Jon, stop! You will kill him!” Robb grabbed him by his arms and together with Theon they were trying to drag him off from the other boy who was laying on the ground with a bloody nose.

“I'm not done with that trash!” Jon growled trying to get free of their grasp.

“Your sister is thrash!” Called the boy from the ground. He sounded pitiful but the insult was enough to surprise Robb which resulted in loosening his grasp on his brother's arms. Jon lunged again, fist connecting with jaw and his second hand grabbing the boy roughly by the hair. A loud crack was heard and Robb and Theon lunged at Jon again dragging him away and pinning him to the ground. They were shouting something at Jon but he didn't hear them as he was too engrossed in his fury. His eyes were still focused on his target.

This little piece of shit, he wanted to rip him apart, destroy any evidence that he had ever lived. Sansa was so happy when she had told them that this little shit had invited her over, she was head over heels for him and that fucker was gloating to his peers about how she was close to begging him to fuck her. He had called her a cheap girl and said that he had convinced her to give him head when she would come over. He was gloating about his plans to take video of her doing so and then showing it to everybody after dumping her. For God’s sake she was only fourteen!

Jon had overheard it by accident when he was heading to the cafeteria. After the lessons were over Jon confronted him about it and that little fucker only laughed him off saying “and what can you do about it?”

“If you try anything with Sansa, anything, I will tear you apart. For each tear she shreds I will break one bone in your body and if you put me behind bars the first place I will visit after being released will be where you live. Dare to speak one more word to her and I will kill you. Keep that in mind fucker!” The boy was curling himself into a tighter ball, his wit all but gone.

“He got the message, Jon. Now please, let him be,” Robb was pleading him this time refusing to let go of him. Jon was silent for a few minutes, refusing to say anything. “Hey, cheap-shit! “Robb called to Sansa's soon to be ex-boyfriend.

“If you breathe a thing to any living soul the next time I won't be holding Jon down. I will hold you and cheer him on.”

“And so will I!” said Theon. “And I won't settle for only cheering him.”

“Get lost!”

Only when the boy was gone did Robb and Theon let go of Jon. “Have you lost your mind, Jon?!” Robb all but cried out. “What if he calls the cops?”

“There are no cameras,” Jon grunted out.

“If worst comes to worst we could lie. We were the last to finish with training anyway so it would be his word against ours,” Theon suggested.

“Hope we won't have to.”

They were still in high school when that incident took place and it turned out that luck was on Jon's side as no cops came knocking at his home.

Sansa was sad for a week after her poor excuse of a boyfriend called her and broke things off without giving any explanation.

It was the day when Jon finally recognized his feelings for what they were. Deep down he had known it but pretended that it wasn't true. He had thought that it would pass with time but it wouldn't. Sansa was growing up and becoming even more pretty with each day and Jon was growing to be more and more horrified with himself. There was something wrong with him, he had thought. He was wicked, twisted, and sick. And even though he was aware of it it didn't change his feelings.

Not long after Jon decided to stay away from Sansa for her sake as well as his own.

 

II

 

 Work was uneventful as usual, Jon was getting ready to go home when Sam suggested going to a bar. The request had caught Jon off guard, mostly because he was well aware that Sam wasn't really fond of drinking. They had gone out for drinks a few times but it was usually Jon who would come up with the idea.

“Did something happen?”

Sam was fumbling with his hands. “Yes...no! This is... you don't have to if you don't want to!”

So something was wrong then. It did occur to Jon that Sam was more quiet today but he had decided to ignore it. “I don't mind at all.”

“Oh, thanks!” his college buddy beamed up at him making Jon wonder what it was about.

When they were inside the bar and with beers already served Jon decided not to beat around the bush. “So, what is bothering you?”

Sam's face was getting red and he mumbled something so silently that Jon didn't catch it. “Louder please.”

“Well, I have been thinking that … well, you know-”

“Just spill it already.”

“I...I don't want to work in this field anymore!” Sam blurted out as if he was afraid to say the words aloud and Jon blinked once, twice not sure if he had heard right. Sam was one of the best in their company and really close to being promoted. He worked hard and had no problems when their company was requesting them to use new technologies. It didn't make sense. “I never wanted to be a programmer anyway.”

Jon rose his eyebrows a him. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Sam took a gulp of beer. “Have I told you about my dad?”

Jon thought for a moment. If he remembered correctly Sam's relationship with his father was rocky. “You have mentioned him to be strict.”

“Oh, he still is.” Sam took another gulp while Jon didn't touch his drink at all. “I decided to study in a field that he suggested hoping that he would accept me if I was good enough in it. That he would finally be happy with me. At least once.”

It couldn't have been so bad as Sam was making it out to be. Sam was...well Sam. Chubby, nice, and a really smart guy. True, maybe he wasn't the best looking but his company was always pleasant and he was a hard working person who deserved as much respect as anyone else. It should count for something to his father. “I'm sure that he is proud of you.”

Sam shook his head. “He has called me a failure and a waste of time, breath, and money.” _Ouch._ “He said and I quote ‘If Dickon had spent half the time you are spending on studying he would be twice as good as you.’”

“But it was long ago, right?”

“Yesterday.”

Jon gulped down half of his beer in one go, he really wasn't good at cheering people up. “If he is talking about our field then he has no idea what he is talking about.” It was the truth. The knowledge was important but without tons of practice it wouldn’t mean a lot without it. Sam only shrugged and Jon continued, “but didn't your brother fail the first semester at the university?”

Sam was looking down ~~on~~ at the table. “He doesn't care.” He started to play with his hands, a gesture he did when trying to approach a difficult subject. “Do you think...” After a while Sam finally spoke again, his voice hesitant. “Would it be stupid if I go back to school again?”

Jon was more than glad for the change of the topic. Talking about family was difficult. “If this is what you want then why not?”

“I would be older than most of the people there.”

His friend was horribly unsure of himself and his knowledge, he was also painfully shy.

Jon decided to answer him with an example. “My brother shared a few classes with a dude that was over thirty and nobody batted an eye.”

“Oh.”

“If you want to and can support yourself alone then you should go for it.” Sam gave him a timid smile and Jon returned it. “You are smart enough to pull it off.”

“Thanks.”

 The atmosphere got lighter after that and they switched to more pleasurable topics as movies and pc master races. They were at their third beer when Jon decided that if Sam was willing to share his concerns with him then he might as well do so too.

He polished his glass and sighed loudly contemplating on how to voice it, he settled for the easiest way. “There is this guy and he has a problem.”

Sam's eyes were sparkling with curiosity. “Oh, I'm not sure if I can be of any help to him but I will try my best.”

“I wouldn't expect anything less of you.” Sam urged him to continue and so Jon did. He wasn't sure if this was a good idea, he was about to admit to something that he never dared to say aloud even to himself. “There is this girl he has been fancying since he was a kid but he was never really good enough for her and-”

Sam clasped his hands with excitement. “You want to know if he should try anyway?”

“No! Definitely not!” he shouted and then cringed at his own action. Two or three people turned their heads in their direction but instantly ignored them after noticing that nothing was out of order. “Sorry… ugh! He doesn't want to anyway.”

“Oh, okay.” Sam's face fell.

“She seems like she could use a friend, but he is worried that his feelings would get in the way.”

“He wants to be close but not too close?”

That seemed right and Jon nodded. “Something like that, yeah.”

Sam chuckled at him. “He's being silly then.”

“Silly?”

Sam's eyes were dancing with mirth at him. “If he had been fancying her for that long as you say and is still somehow around her then he already is her friend. You can't truly love someone without being their friend Jon, that's how lust works and it fades fast.” It did make sense but it filled Jon's heart with dread. Love. Love was complicated and there were different types of it. Having someone naming it for what it was was making him feel uneasy. “If he is still around and cares about her his feelings run deep, right?”

Jon gulped. “Right.”

“He should talk with her. Let her know that he's there for her.”

“I don't think that it is that easy Sam.” The memory of Sansa in his bed that morning hit him. He had been always an early riser and upon waking up he had been staring at her for at least half an hour. She looked so peaceful then and he wanted to engrave the sight of her in his memory forever. Her first smile that morning, her joy when she had tasted the coffee he had made for her, and her sweet laugh when they talked later.

“You won't know without trying, right?” Jon gave him a pointed look and Sam cleared his throat. “Right. Sorry. I meant your friend won’t know without trying. Anyway it’s for her to decide. For all I know people can be surprising sometimes.” And he added “I’m sure he deserves some happiness with his girl.”

Jon growled at him. “She's not his girl!” Sam rolled his eyes but his smile remained in place, both of them knowing that he had a fair point. Jon wanted more memories filled with her laugh and sweet presence. “But you might be right.”

“I don't know much about love but I think that I am.” He clinked they empty glasses. “Cheers.”

 

III

 

On Wednesday Jon had made his way to the Starks. He was about to ring the bell when the doors were opened by Sansa. She was fully clothed and was holding a leash.

“Hi,” she greeted him.

“Hi, where are you going?”

“I don't know yet. Just taking a stroll with Grey Wind.” They were silent,but apparently not knowing what to say to each other but also not wanting to part instantly. Sansa cleared her throat. “Robb is at work,” she said.

“I know.”

“And so is mom,” she added.

“I know that too.”

Sansa bit her lip and looked down. Jon could almost hear the unspoken 'then why are you here?' but it never came. She gave him a hopeful and timid smile and Jon was glad that this time he won't be crushing it. “You can come with me if you want too.”

He smiled back at her. “Lead the way.”

The weather was nice and warm, the sky was clear and sun was shining brightly. They were walking through the park arm in arm and Sansa was holding the leash. They were speaking about how they day was, Jon complaining that it was boring and Sansa telling him about a very boring lecture she had attended yesterday.

“Will Bran finally come back to stay the weekend?”

“I'm not sure but I hope so. I miss him,” her face fell and Jon frowned. Bran used to be a very lively child just as Arya. He was always running, talking, and asking questions but now after the accident he didn't speak much. He was always silent and didn't really smile at all. Jon wanted to ask her what she missed the most but decided not to. Did she miss Bran or the memory of the old Bran who would tug at her jeans and demand to be told a story? Jon already knew the answer anyway.

Sansa laughed at him and pointed at his face. “You have a leaf in your hair.”

He tried to take it out but he couldn’t find it. “Where?”

She stepped closer to him and took it out of his curls. Her hands smelled of something sweet. Lilac maybe? “There,” she was holding it out to him. It was green and small and when Sansa turned around Jon discretely showed it into his pocket.

They were sitting on swings and looking at the children that were playing close to them. One even asked if he could pet Grey Wind and Sansa didn't refuse.

“Did you really come home to see me?” Sansa asked after some time.

“I wanted to see you.”

Sansa looked at him uncertain. “I was worried that you would end up ignoring me for a month or even longer. “Her voice was cheery but it didn't fit the expression on her face. She must have realized it and looked down at her feet. “You usually would after doing something nice for me.”

“I'm sorry.” Sansa remained silent and so he continued. “I won't do it again. I promise.”

She was chewing on her lip and Jon waited patiently for her to say something, even something angry or painful. “Why did you start to push me away? Was it something I did? Said?”

He sighed. Of course it had to be the one question he didn't want to answer. “No, it wasn't your fault.” She deserved an explanation but he wasn't ready to give her one. He didn't want to lie to Sansa either.

“So it was just a whim of yours?”

“It's not like that. This is something that is really difficult for me to explain.” She was looking down the whole time and he was getting sick of it. “Look at me please.” She did and Jon's words died in his throat, just like they often did while he was close to her but this time it was because she looked about ready to cry. He cleared his throat. “I never wanted to hurt you. Never. There was, no, there is a reason for it but I can't tell you. Maybe one day I will but not now. Please don't ask me to because I will have to refuse again.” She nodded but remained silent. “Please Sansa, I'm so sorry about it all. I never wanted to make you feel bad.”

Her gaze was measuring, she was staring at him and Jon stared right back. After what felt like hours but was in fact only a few minutes she nodded. “Alright.”

“I will make it up to you.”

Sansa snorted. “Of course you will.” She took a look around.” And you will start with getting me ice cream! See that vendor over there?” she pointed to an elderly man who was not very far away ” I want some from him.”

“I will do as my lady commands” Jon stood up and made a mock bow. “Chocolate and lemon?” She didn't agree instantly so his guess was wrong. “Or blueberry and lemon.”

“Blueberry.”

Maybe it would have been wiser to stay away from her, to move to another place in a different city and only come back to see her again once she was happily married and he had a woman of his own. But he has always weak when it comes to Sansa. She smiled at him as he made his way to the vendor and Jon came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to do it even if he wanted to.

He wanted to see more of that smile and listen to her voice. It was like a ray of sunshine after a storm. He had missed it dearly and this time he won't be chasing it away. It would only hurt him more in the end if he got closer but he didn't care anymore. It was too difficult to stay away and he was tired of it. He had always failed to be a brother to her but he would try again, just to see her smile.

 


	6. Cateyn I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proofreading and help was done by annarosym.

I

 

Time has been rough on them all, Catelyn thought. First it was Jon **,** who had disappeared without a trace. When Jon went away it was because of work or so he had said. He had been promoted and his company offered him a better pay in the capital. Tormund looked into it and the promotion was true, Jon went to the capital and worked there but after a month he quit his job and his trace was lost from there. All of them were so worried back then, one day Jon is talking with Arya about what to get Bran for his birthday and then he doesn't answer any calls and when they decide to visit his new place it turned out to be empty. If her memory was right Sansa acted strange back then too. When Jon was still calling he always asked about her but never asked to talk with her and when Catelyn offered her daughter the phone anyway she refused with very harsh words. When she tried to ask her daughter about it she waved her off saying that they never were close anyway and that he's asking only because he wants to be polite. Now Catelyn regrets that she wasn't more persistent with questions.

The last time Catelyn had spoken with Jon on the phone he seemed to be very distant and she had foolishly dismissed it as a bad day at work. She should have known something was wrong. She should have...but she didn't and it was another one of her regrets. And then, half a year later came another blow. Sansa too disappeared. Suddenly, with no explanation and without a trace. One week after she came back from her vacation.

She had two weeks of paid leave and decided to travel a little. She said she would be a few towns over, staying only for two to three days, but Catelyn didn't know where exactly Sansa was as her daughter didn't really tell her much and now thinking about it it could have been a lie. Only when it was too late would Catelyn realize what Sansa was really up to. She was searching for Jon and she must have found him.

When Sansa came back from vacation she seemed to be even sadder and more tired than before she had left. She went back to her job and was spending most of her days engrossed in books or tv shows, and she didn't talk much. One Sunday night all remaining Starks had supper together and they talked about nothing in particular. Sansa had work the next day and wasn't thrilled about it. She complained about her boss and a presentation she had done that she wasn’t happy about, Catelyn remembered it clearly. She had ironed her work suit and went to her room. The next day she was gone, only a few things missing from her bedroom.

Of course it could be a coincidence not linked with Jon but Catelyn doubted it. She could be also wrong about the nature of their relationship but she doubted that too. Catelyn wasn't blind nor stupid and she had her suspicion before the whole fiasco had happened.

The first time she noticed something was off was when Margery dropped by and asked about Sansa and telling her she hadn’t seen her daughter in a month not counting the classes they shared. Sansa was in the grocery store when her friend visited and against her better judgment Catelyn didn't ask how could it be that a friend Sansa claimed to visit yesterday came asking about her and said they hadn’t seen each other in a while. A friend Sansa claimed to see on daily basis?

As much as it had annoyed her that her daughter had blatantly lied to her she didn't dig. Sansa was an adult and if she wanted to have some secrets then so it could be, she trusted her and knew that Sansa was smart enough not to get herself into trouble. And Catelyn silently hoped that maybe her daughter had met a nice young man and was shy to show him to her family, as she knew that her daughter had tough luck with men.

Then a few days later when she came back from her late shift she saw them curled together sleeping on the couch. Jon and Sansa. They were family and there was nothing wrong with it as Arya had fallen asleep like that plenty of times with all of her brothers and sometimes so did Sansa with Robb, but what tipped Catelyn as odd that it was Jon. Jon who was always distant to her eldest daughter and Sansa who sometimes acted like Jon didn't exists at all. And yet they were there, so close like she never saw them before and never saw it again after. When morning came and the three of them had breakfast Sansa only said that they were watching a boring movie and feel asleep, Jon only nodded.

It was when it occurred to her that lately when Sansa was away from home Jon was never around too. And that when she had found them the tv was turned off.

 

II

 

“There is one thing I have forgotten to mention."

The detective was listening intently. "Anything could be useful."

"One of my children is crippled, half a year ago his wheelchair broke. We were in debt then and couldn't afford a new one. I tried to get a loan but I couldn't get it. When I was about to sell my car a package addressed to him came with no return address, it was a new wheelchair and a very expensive one too."

This information was promising. 'Do you think Jon or Sansa could afford it?' It was too late to trace the sender now but it gave him some new information too.

"Jon could. He was always the one who had good paying jobs and I know that he already had a lot of money stashed for bad times." Tormund had known it already but making sure didn't never hurt.

'If it was them then it would mean that they somehow know what is going on in your home.'

She sighed."'I am aware."

This could turn out to be a good lead. "Either they live close or are in contact with someone close."

"At least one of my children knows something about them but none would tell me. I’ve tried so many times already."

"How so?"

Catelyn reached to her purse and pulled out a manila folder, there was a picture inside and she took it into hands with great care. Tormund couldn't see what it was but noticed that it was a little burned on the corner. She passed it to him.

"This arrived yesterday again with no return address and no note. When I left it on the counter one of my children threw it to our fireplace. I saw it in time."

Arya, Rickon and Robb were at home when she got the picture. She didn't show it to any of them as it was addressed to her, instead she had carelessly left it in the kitchen for a minute and when she came back the picture was already in the fireplace and her children were all upstairs, any of them could have done that. But which one? She had burned her hands a little but she managed to save it.

Tormund rubbed his chin. Catelyn Stark was right, at least one of her children did know something and probably wasn't happy with that knowledge. But then again why would they contact their siblings in order to get help with the wheelchair? Something didn't add here but he knew too little to tell what exactly. "You don't know who did it?'

She shook her head."No."

He will need details about the shipping company but now he had something more pressing in his hand. An ultrasound picture which he didn't know how to read but he was sure he already know what was on it, dated one week ago. His client was a nurse so he asked her for confirmation.

"My daughter is pregnant."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's add some little mystery.  
> Next time: Sansa


	7. Sansa III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awesome brothers and Sam's awkward romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers. I hope that you didn't give up on be. I'm happy to be back to writing this. <3  
> And I would like to thank everyone who still commented, left kudos and even contacted me via tumbr. Thank you for your support and appreciation. Lately it had been really thought for me, it still somehow is, but that's fine.
> 
> I would like to thank for annarosym's insight and proofreading. It means a lot to me.

I

 

True to his words Jon was making an effort and it was visible to everyone around them. He didn't shy away from Sansa like he used before nor came when she wasn't likely to be around. He started to visit them more often too. They talked more now, Jon taking care to explain things about his work to her while she would be telling him about her days, university and her sewn plushies. He even picked her up from university once or twice when she had a late class. It was nice and Sansa decided it was safe to hope that things would be this way between them. To feel that she is welcome to be around him.

It was a Friday night and it was Robb's idea to go out. Sansa didn't really want to go and Jon argued that he has work the next day but Robb was persistent, arguing that it was a while since he had a free Friday and that the last time they had gone out together was ages ago. 'If ever' Sansa wanted to tell. Robb and Jon would go to a bar together from time and Arya would be accompanying them if she was around too. Sansa tagged around maybe once or twice. The last time it was just the three of them was years ago and they were having burgers and fries, she wasn't even sure if really there were just the three of them or if Theon was with them too, she couldn't remember.

After she had pointed some of her thought out Robb moved from his spot on the armchair and sat between them on the conch bringing his arms around their shoulders. “Even more reason to go then!” He nuzzled Sansa's cheek with his beard and then did the same to Jon. Sansa laughed at the gesture while Jon elbowed him.

“Robb's right. If that's the case we should get out.” Jon looked at Sansa, he was both apologetic and hopeful.

“Alright, but I'm not getting drunk.”

“I have work tomorrow so me neither.” Jon said at the same time when Robb shouted “Great! Finally the most adult Stark kids will be getting wasted together!”

“There's no getting wasted!”

“Robb!”

 

It was a small and crowded pub, loud enough for people to have problems hearing each other which suited them just fine, the boys admitted later when they were on their seconds beers the pub was one they used to visit frequently before.

Sansa was getting bored with just talking and after a nudge or two from Robb she decided to hit the dance floor. There were only a few people dancing but she didn't mind.

“Don't let us old men stop you honey!” Robb called after her and she could hear Jon snicker at him.

“You are the only old man here.”

“You're older than me!”

“And prettier too.”

“I always thought you would make a fine chick brother.”

“Shut up drunkard.”

Sansa didn't hear more because she was offered a dance from a guy who looked a few years older than her and focused on her own fun instead. It was at the fifth song and third dance partner when her nice time was cut short. Her partner's hands, a guy she was a little hesitant to dance with because he seemed a little too drunk, started to wander too much to places a stranger man's touch wasn't welcome. Sansa batted his hand away and quickly ditched him in order to dance with someone else but the guy was persistent. It was clear that he had at least one drink too many and he grabbed her a little to forcefully to dance again. Her face must have showed her displeasure at him but she didn't want to make a scene hoping that he would quickly pick up that she wasn't interested. He didn't. After a minute or two his hands started to wander again and Sansa closed her eyes and gritted teeth. Scratch that, the idiot wanted a piece of her mind then so be it. She had enough of assholes already and this one-

Suddenly the unwanted touch was gone. There was a 'thud' sound, loud enough to be heard through music and Jon's very angry voice.

“The fuck you think you are doing buddy?” It was Jon. Her brother must have yanked that guy off from her and was now pinning him to the wall, both hands on throat.

Her molester tried to bat the hands holding him away but Jon didn't budge. “Hey! Me and that chick were having a really nice time there. What's your problem?! Fuck off!”

Jon shook the guy making him bang his head on the wall. “My problem is your hand on my sister's ass. My other problem is-” Jon looked feral. Slim but with broad shoulders and strong arms, he was sneering at that man with so much hate and venom she didn't even imagine he could muster.

It reminded her about how he came for her after she was stuck in a foreign city after watching that memorable play. His expression right now was similar but much more darker. “Jon stop it, please!” For a second the young woman was afraid that she will hear the sickening sound of a cracking skull. She had to stop it, now. Sansa grabbed his arm, tugged and squeezed Jon's limb trying to calm him down. “He's not worth your concern. Please, please, calm down, please.” She was afraid. She never saw Jon get violent with anyone before and had no idea what to expect from him. What if he ended hurting that asshole by accident?

"He's not but you are!” His words caught her off guard. Jon wasn't ever looking at her, he was focused on the person in front of him but she could feel him relax his muscles, if just a little under her touch. Sansa opened her mouth and closed it again unsure what to say when Robb suddenly materialized next to them.

''Whoa, all I did was go take a piss and then the party really kicks in. Not nice, kids!” To Sansa's surprise he didn't appear to be even slightly concerned. He was mildly amused. “No beating till I'm around kids.”

Sansa mouthed at him. “Do something you idiot.”

Robb walked to the drunkard and put his arm around him in a friendly gesture with no care that Jon was still holding him against the wall. “There, there.” His voice seemed friendly and there was a big grin on his face. “I don't know what is going on here but it doesn't look good for you buddy. Two angry brothers I mean.”

“You are a bunch of psychos,” the nameless guy whined.

“Are we?” Robb had now a shit eating grin. “How about you do us a nice favor and never bother our sister again? This is if you like your hands as they are?”

Sansa tugged at Jon's arm and he finally released his hold and turned to face her not meeting her eyes. He looked like an ashamed child. “How about we get out of there? We caused enough commotion as it is.” She tried uneasily. It was true, almost everyone was looking at them now but no one tried to approach them.

“Good idea.” Robb clapped his hands. “The show's over.”

“Alright.”

Sansa took Jon by his elbow as they made their exit with Robb walking behind them and giving the bartender an awkward wave. “Damn I like that place. I hope that they won't throw us out the next time,” he muttered to no one in particular.

 

When they finally walked back to their home Sansa went straight for the bathroom while Robb and Jon helped themselves to their third beer, or rather it was Robb who decided that he needs one more and nagged Jon to drink with him until Jon finally did agree if just for Robb to shut up.

Sansa was quick with her shower. Robb looked like he could use one and Jon probably would like to refresh himself too as he would be going to work tomorrow. She was walking down the stairs but stopped in her tracks.

“Fuck off!” Were they arguing? She couldn't see them and was unsure if she wanted to go to them and find out.

“Seriously what did that poor guy do? Tried to kiss her? Smacked her ass?” Robb made a 'tsk, tsk' sound, something he picked out of their mother's habits.

“Shouldn't you be more concerned?” Sansa could almost hear him gritting his teeth, he probably was.

Robb laughed. “Oh but I am. But do I even have to when you are doing such a fine job for the both of us?”

A heavy sigh.“I know that I overreacted, no need to tell me.”

“You can't be always running after guys who would try to harm Sansa. She's a big girl, let her handle her own battles.”

“She has enough of them as it is.”

“Like us all, big brother.”

“I hate guys like that, you know it.”

“Yeah but you reacted stronger than usually.”

“Maybe I was a little drunk.”

“Bullshit!” Sansa almost winced at the sudden change of Robb's attitude.

“Why so angry?”

“Alright. I don't believe you but alright, let's leave it.” Jon was silent and Robb probably took a gulp of his beer and continued. “I have been meaning to ask you for some time now...did you, that ex boy of Sansa, did you by any chance...?”

_'What?!'_

Jon answered with the same angry voice as before, “I don't know what you are talking about.”

“Right.” Robb cleared his throat and Sansa decided she had enough of eavesdropping.

“The shower is free,” she called and walked down the rest of the stairs. They were seated against each other. Jon's was having his back to her while Robb was facing her.

“Cool. Why don't you go first Jon? I'm not done with my drink yet.”

Jon muttered something about 'drunkards' and went to to the bathroom. Sansa took the place he was occupying before.

“So what did that guy do?”

Robb didn't try to beat around the bush and Sansa shrugged uneasy. “Nothing much, really. Just to much of touchy-feely.”

“Ah,” He took a sip of his beer. “Could have guessed.”

“You're not surprised.” Sansa decided to finally point it out. It was a little unnerving how Robb was behaving now.

He mimicked her shrug. “You are pretty. Can't really blame the guy.”

“About Jon.” She cleared. “He attacked that guy and you are just laughing it off. Something bad might have happened, Jon could end up in trouble!”

“He's not stupid. Don't worry.”

“How can I not worry?” She was shaken! Not only because of what she saw tonight but also after listening to them. Did she understand it right? It wasn't the first time that something like that had happened? But when? Why? Why she didn't know about it? Why would her brother act this way when he used to go out of his way in order to be avoiding her. It didn't make sense.

“Ask. I know you want too.”

“Did it happen before? About me?”

“You know the answer to that already. We were speaking loud enough for you too hear.” He gave her a pointed look and she blushed in embarrassment at being caught. “I wanted you to hear it, don't worry.”

“Jon might disagree.”

Robb only laughed.

“I don't get it...I really don't. How come I never heard of this?”

“He'd good at keeping his secrets, one has to give it to him.”

“That's true,” Sansa nodded and a small smile had crept on her face. In only a very short amount of time she was finding new things about Jon and she came to realize that he's a very different person from the one she had thought him to be. “Do you really think that it was him who had attacked Joffrey?” She asked not daring to face Robb. She both feared and craved to hear what he would say.

Her brother seemed to be weighing his words. “That depends, really. But let's say that he did have a good reason for it then I would say yes, he could.”

“I see.”

“Did he?” Robb called out her name and Sansa meet his gaze. “Did he have a reason?”

Sansa bit her lip in thought. Se didn't tell anyone about what her ex did to her so there was a chance that Jon didn't know, their mother clearly didn't know because Sansa was sure that Catelyn would make Sansa talk about it. But the thing was that Jon was, is perceptive, he notices small things and she did feel as if he knew something was wrong the first time Joffrey had hit her.

“He might have.”

“I see,” Robb released a slow breath. “It's a shame he didn't ask for help then. I would have loved to do so.”

The air was getting too heavy for her. “That guy was right. You are a bunch of psychos. I'm going to sleep.”

“Awww, you love us anyway.” She gave him the finger making him laugh again. “Oh, and please don't rat me out.”

Sansa had problems with falling asleep. Her heart was pounding so loud she could hear it. She wanted to run to the room next to her and ask, “Did you do it Jon? Why? Because of me?” but she was afraid of what he would say in return. Afraid of what she would say if he would confirm it. She gritted her teeth and decided to stop thinking about it, it didn't matter that she couldn't help it, but she decided to try. So what if he did it? Joff got what he deserved and if it was by Jon's help then it would be better not to bother him about it now. It wasn't important.

 

II

 

“Is Jon still home?” Sansa asked her mother after greeting.

“You just missed him. Why?” Catelyn looked very tired and Sansa once again was tempted to start arguing about her mother's nightly work but she decided to hold it, her mother didn't look awake enough for that. Even though she wasn't working yesterday she looked tired, it was no secret her sleeping schedule was a mess.

“Nothing important, really. “

“He mentioned making groceries for us today so he will  ~~~~eat with us.” Meaning they had talked and it went around the lines: “Eat dinner with us? You look thin, come home, spend some time with an older woman?”, “I will buy something for you guys then.”, “You know that you don't have to.” “You know I will do it anyway.” “Stubborn child.”

 Sansa started filling the kettle with water. “Maybe.”

“Or maybe you could go with him? You know how he usually buys way too much, right?”

Sansa laughed and nodded at her mother. “I will consider it, mom.” It wasn't a bad idea. She wanted to talk with him. She had no idea about what to talk about but well. “I will let him know then.”

Once seated with her coffee Sansa opted for calling him at first but quickly dismissed the idea, he was probably already at work and she did remember Jon mentioning something about 'useless morning meetings'. She settled for a message instead. “ _Mum mentioned shopping. Can we go together?”_

She could have been right about the meeting because Jon took good twenty minutes to respond.

“ _I'm not trying out any skirts.”_ She almost spilled her coffee.

“ _Shame, you have nice legs.“_

This time the response was faster. “ヽ(￣～￣ )ノ”

“ _What's this?”_

“ _Kaomoji_ _. Wrote an app for using them on_ _t_ _he_ _mobile phone.”_ She snorted doubting that app was done for work.

“ _Show me more?”_

“ _Why should I? (◣∀◢)ψ”_

“ _Pretty please? <3” _

“ _Hmm..No_ (^_−)☆”

“ _Sry have to go. Meet me at my place at 3?”_

Sansa was about to send “ _Sure”_ when her phone buzzed with one more message.

“ _Hate those meetings. (_ ಥ _﹏_ ಥ _)” “_

 

Jon's apartment was the same as she had remembered save for the few dirty cups that were sitting innocently on the table on Jon's workstation.

“I need coffee. Do you want some too?”

“It's too late for coffee for me. But I would love to have tea.” Hopefully that lovely Earl Grey he had the last time she was here.

“OK,” he pointed at the cabinet, “take your pick. Earl Grey in the red container.”

Jon pulled out clean mugs while Sansa collected the dirty ones and placed them in the sink. They were mostly silent until their beverages were done. Sansa sat herself at the table while Jon remained standing, leaning his back on the counter.

After she had blown at her tea and took a tentative sip Sansa was delighted to find out that it was indeed the very same one she had before. This time she will have to ask him about where did he buy this stuff. It was delicious. “How was work?”

“Boring as always.” Jon pulled out a pack of cigarettes, he took one out and searched around for a lighter. “The testing phase is almost over so there's hope that will be wrapping up the app soon.”He found it at the window sill next to the ashtray.

“That's good to hear then.”

“Yeah.” He said after a mouthful of coffee and lit his cigarette up. Sansa started to wonder if anybody else knew that he was smoking. People usually liked to smoke when drinking alcohol but she didn't see Jon doing that when they visited that pub, not when he was having a beer or two with Robb so she couldn't say for sure.

“I'm sorry,” Jon said after prolonged silence. “About yesterday. I didn't meant to scare you.” He took a long drag and shook the ashes. “I just, I saw how you tried to brush him off and instead of leaving you in peace he was getting more bold.” He turned to look out of the window. “I know that I overacted. I'm sorry, I will keep my temper in check in the future. I promise.”

Sansa had left her tea forgotten and walked up to her brother. She hesitated for a second and then hugged him for behind, wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her head on his shoulder. Jon crushed his cigarette but made no other move than placing his right hand on hers that were entwined on his chest.

“I'm really so-” he started to say but Sansa cut him of abruptly with a firm “No!”

“You wanted to protect me, don't be sorry, please.”

“I ruined our night,” he argued silently.

“Not important.”

“You could have liked that guy.”

Now Sansa scoffed. “Please, I do have some taste.” Suddenly her ex's image came to her mind. “It did improve greatly so thank you very much.”

“If you say so.” Jon chuckled and started caressing her hand while Sansa dropped the other one down in order to move around and face him.

He was looking at her with a very sad expression. “I'm sorry for scaring you,” he all but whispered and Sansa realized it was actually this he was most worried about.

“You didn't.” She answered without thought and realized that it didn't feel as a lie. She was afraid, true, but not because she thought that Jon would end up hurting her.

“Don't lie to me Sansa. I saw that you were scared.”

“I was afraid for you Jon not of you. There’s a difference you know.”

“Are you sure?”

Jon searched her face for any trace of lie and must have found none because he finally nodded, more to himself than to her, and wrapped her in a hug too. Sansa nestled her head under his chin and murmured a quiet “thank you.” In her mind Sansa was thanking Jon for being here for her now, for caring for her and for doing things she had no hope to know about for her. “Thank you, Jon.”

“You're welcome.” Jon placed a small kiss to her forehead and released her. “So, supermarket or the local store store?”

 

They settled for the closest supermarket. Jon spotted a friend from work and observed as the other man was observing from some distance how a young worker was placing new items on the shelf. Of course he was trying to be discreet about it but failed miserably at it.

Her brother smirked and walked silently behind the other man.“Hmm...why don't you ask that nice lady over there for help?”

The man jumped slightly almost dropping the can of corn he was pretending to be very interested in. “Holly shi-!” He turned and after realizing who it was he scowled.“ Jon, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry Sam, couldn't resist.” Jon only patted him on the shoulder. “But seriously ask her something. Anything.”

“I-well. I don't. I don't think. Well she seems to be nice but I might not be..well..I” Sam was stuttering now and Jon invited Sansa closer to them with a wave to introduce to each other.

Sam seemed like a polite person. He calmed quickly down and quickly changed their topic mentioning he had overheard about them getting a new project soon. When the two men started talking Sansa noticed that the female employee was eyeing those two with interest.

“She's looking our way you know guys.” Sam's cheeks flushed and he started to slightly splutter.

 

“Excuse me?” The working girl walked next to them and turned to Sam with a shy smile, Sansa could see now her name-tag. Gilly. “I noticed that you are usually buying fresh herbs. We have a sale for them today, would you like me to show you.”

As it turned out Sam's cheeks could grow very rapidly with color. “I already have tha- ouch!” He winced and turned to scowl at Jon. Jon had just kicked him and now he was giving him a very pointed look at his basket. “Oh!” The girl wasn't blind and couldn't have missed the two oregano bushes that were sticking out of it. She was being obvious on purpose with her intent. Sansa pretended to cough while Sam beamed at the girl.” Sure, I would love too check it out. Let's go.”

“See ya, Sam.”

Said man blinked surprised as if he had forgotten that he had any company at all.” Yeah sure. Bye Sansa, bye Jon.”

Sansa didn't try to hide her laughter this time. “Bye. Have a nice day.” She gave him a wave and Jon's friend returned it.

“Same here.”

“Come on, or it will be all sold out,” they both heard the female voice nagging at Sam.

Jon let out a snicker. “That was kind of painful.”

Sansa looked at her brother who was biting at his lips now, fighting down his smile. Why he was so adamant of doing so she had no idea. Jon had a really nice smile. “Your friend seems nice.”

Jon nodded. “Sam is a kind soul, it would be hard not to like him.” They returned to their shopping and when they were almost done they spotted Sam and Gilly engrossed in conversation in the book herb section. “I'm not even sure how long he has been crushing on her. At least a few months now.”

“Really?” That was...sweet, Sansa thought. A guy liking someone for a longer time and being so unsure about it. “That's cute.”

Jon hummed. “Guess she got sick of waiting.”

“Can't blame her.”

When they were in the middle of unloading their purchases Jon's phone rang with a strange song. Sansa rose one eyebrow at it. and Jon shrugged in response. “It's Sam, “ he told her and answered. “Hey, what's up?” Their talk was short, it was mostly Sam who was speaking while Jon hummed and proceeded with packing things to his car. He laughed at something. “A message would have been enough but sure.”

Sansa was already in the front seat when Jon finished the call. “Sam says thanks, “ he said once inside.

“So, did she ask him out?”

Jon huffed. “Surprisingly no, he did the honors.”

“Oh.” An unusually patient woman then, Sansa mused .“About that ringtone...what was that?”

“The muffin song.” Jon said when turning the engine and turned to her. “What about it?”

“It's...unusual.” As unusual as a cheerfully sung “ _die, die, die”_ could be, really.

“That's the point.”

“Alright.” What could she say?

“You have heard of it before, right?”

If she did she would have remembered it, probably. Did Jon and Robb listen to it at home often? “Urm...no?”

“Seriously?” She nodded and he turned the engine off. “Do you even browse the internet?”

“Of course!”

“Then how come you never saw it? It was really popular.” He fished out his phone and started searching for the said song.

“I don't know, I just didn't.”

“Unbelievable,” he said with mock horror. “I take you didn't see any of the asdf movies either?”

“No.” Sansa laughed at the silliness of the names.

“Now I'm appalled, really. Kaomoji's are something I can forgive, but this? A person who doesn't know asdf series is no friend of mine.” He looked pointedly at her.

“I take it that your friend watched those movies too.”

He placed a hand over his heart. “Of course. It was our mutual love for the art that brought us close.”

“Guess my ignorance prohibits us from having a friendly relationship then.” Sansa gave out a mock sight.” I'm devastated.”

“Nothing that can't be fixed princess. Know my goodwill towards pretty ladies and appreciate it... Here.” He shifted closer to her with his phone. “Watch this.”

On the screen was a small and suicidal muffin singing a catchy song with a variety of others equally silly characters.

“ _Honey I'm pregnant...I can explain”_

“Umm?” She know this part was meant to be funny but she didn't understand why.

“Pair of lesbians.” Jon explained.

“ _No lama, no!”_

They watched the rest in silence and when it finished Sansa pressed the replay button. “Pff. It was nice, catchy.”

Jon was silent next to her so she turned to face him and was meet with an intent gaze. He didn't say anything, only stared at her and suddenly Sansa felt her throat getting dry. She had caught Jon looking at her like that once or twice before but never from this close and he would usually shy away from her the instant he noticed her looking, she couldn't read it though. “Jon?”

Jon blinked and turned away from her clearing his throat awkwardly. “Nothing, sorry.” He scratched his chin. “Well, it's even funnier when you watched the whole series.”

He's embarrassed, she noted. “Are those movies long?”

“Just a few minutes each one. It would take maybe twenty minutes to watch them all.” Maybe it was nothing. Maybe he was lost in thought and wasn't even focused on her. maybe he remembered something. It was all plausible but...no, no point in fooling herself. There was something there and even if she couldn't put her ~~her~~ finger on what this was exactly she was confident to figure it out with given time.

“Show me?” Those movies were funny and Jon made it clear that he liked them so why not?

“Sure.”

They were in the middle of the fourth movie when Sansa's mobile buzzed with a new message. It was Catelyn asking when they would be home. “We better go. Let's watch the rest later?”

Jon shoved the phone into his pants pocket and started the car. “To be continued then.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Kaomoji - Japanese emoticons  
> *The muffin song and asdf movies belong to TomSka
> 
> Let me know what you think :D


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